Building a Strong Community—Based on Aspirational Relationships.

Imagine the possibilities when we know in our innermost self that we are on track and that what really matters is living a life focused on looking for the good. Profiled here in their own words are single members of the Center for Purposeful Living community—spiritually minded people of all ages who are dedicated to making a difference in the world without being “anti-” anything. What could be better than sharing the highest and best of yourself with another, and it is responded to with respect and encouragement? If meeting people who are hard-working, fiscally responsible, sophisticated, and just plain fun—and of forming friendships and relationships based on mutually held values and sense of purpose—appeals to you, read on.

Julie White:

As a very small child, I had a vivid recurring dream about discovering another “world” behind a closet door in our hallway. I was so sure it was there; I had glimpsed it in a dream and it was real to me. One can imagine my disappointment and confusion when I eagerly opened that door as a four-year-old, only to find shelves of sheets and towels. Later I began to see that the “world” I had seen in my dreams might have just been a chance to see beyond my everyday life, to what is possible.

As I grew older, I began to realize that one sure way to see into that world was through serving others. I have had multiple opportunities to make that world more and more real through involvement with service-learning in college, through spending time in villages in India, and especially by stretching and expanding my capacity via my experiences of serving and learning at the Center for Purposeful Living. I’m living in that world every day now, and those moments when it doesn’t feel so “real” are when I realize that the focus is on me, and that I have the power to turn that around. Here at CPL, we call it “reversing the flow.”

Marilyn Ross:

Does your group, church, or workplace exhibit conflict, back-stabbing, gossip, and competing egos, which can prevent anything positive or productive from happening? When I was faced with a similar situation a few years ago, I starting searching for the secrets of harmonious living. I found the Center for Purposeful Living, a group of volunteers living and working together in harmony and joy. I was so impressed that I applied for its one-year Transformation through Service program. Six years later, I’m still here.

The secrets I discovered at CPL were service to others, personal responsibility, and an open mind. Its harmonious and cooperative environment is achieved through feedback: the non-critical observations of other group members. Once we learn not to take feedback personally but regard it instead as a gift, peace of mind and growth become evident.

We can imagine ourselves as small streams that have been flowing in the wrong direction—that is, inwardly, toward fulfilling the desires of the personality or little ego. To blend with a great river (in this case, service to humanity), we must reverse that flow. This involves giving up or sacrificing (making sacred) our personal agendas and old beliefs. Once we do, we become a part of the river of energy flowing to the ocean.

Life is not about me, but about something much larger. This is a journey all of us cannot miss, now or in the future. It’s our destiny as human beings.

Christopher Kosub:

Fresh out of college (with a heavy focus on computers), I was confused. I could have easily worked my way up to a high-paying job in a few years, but for some reason the thought of accomplishing that goal was an empty one. This didn’t make sense, though. Wasn’t I supposed to go to college? Wasn’t I supposed to get a high-paying job? Isn’t that the point of life? Outside sources had certainly made this clear, but these goals left me with an empty feeling.

So I decided to take the road less traveled. I enrolled in another college with a different focus, this one involving a bus trip from Fairbanks to Seward, with a focus on environmental science and community. Both of these had become of greater interest every year. After this trip, it was realized that a community was a wonderful place to learn and grow while helping others do the same. CPL was discovered and it was realized that the opportunity to live in community full-time was the next step.

I’ve been at CPL now for over two years and I cannot adequately express in words all the changes that have occurred. Even more potent was the realization of how much of this already was present in me. The challenge was to learn to get out of the way so it could shine through. Now, living my values has shown me that we really can enjoy a purposeful, joyful life when we trust in ourselves. Come see for yourself!

Rachelle Perkins:

Having the chance to know versus believe is one of the most empowering aspects for a person. Three years ago was when I gained more insight into letting go and moving forward.

She and I had been friends for 12 years. We knew everything about each other and could tell what the other was thinking. We promised we would stay that way forever. But as we grew up, we grew apart, and our energies became clearer and values changed. We were shifting into different areas where we had choices. The one I made led me down a path of service and learning to take responsibility. The one she chose led her down the path of education and intellect. Both paths were the ones we needed to go down, but we couldn’t have done it together, and that was when letting go of the friendship became a large reality. Thinking that I could get on with life without my “best friend,” believing I would move, and finally coming to find and beginning to know an inner self, my Soul would be the one to walk through life with.

Three years after parting, she and I re-connected. We still knew everything about each other and have the great memories to prove it. But we both now have a confidence in our respective purposes that is so much greater than if we had gone through our lessons together. This I know.

Alma Pendergast:

Just when I thought I had arrived, all of a sudden my destination changed.

I retired about four years ago after working for a large corporation for 32 years. I had worked hard all my life and thought I deserved “the good life.” Now was the time I could sit back, relax, and do all those things I had put on the back burner because of my career. The first year I traveled extensively. Then, after I grew tired of that (and realizing that I needed some type of structure to my days), I set about scheduling all my favorite things to do. My days were quite busy and the time flew. Pretty soon, however, it dawned on me that I could fast-forward my life and know exactly what I would be doing five, 10, even 15 years from then. It was one of those moments that had such an impact that I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing. I felt empty realizing that all my time and energy had been focused on how I was going to make myself happy. Oh sure: I had volunteered extensively. But even my volunteering was about me—what I was getting out of it.

I was given a wonderful opportunity to buy a condo and move onto the CPL campus. I decided it was now or never so I sold my house, downsized my possessions, and moved to nearby Winston-Salem. Since that time, my life has been turned upside down (in a positive way). I’m busier than I ever thought possible, and everything I do has meaning and purpose. The focus is off of me and onto others. I’ve learned the difference between volunteering and service. I’ve taken classes, learned new skills and now have an extended family that includes the entire community. Living in community is both exciting and challenging—and I wouldn’t have it any other way.